Book Review: You Can’t Eat Peanuts in Church and Other Little-Known Laws

Book Review: You Can’t Eat Peanuts in Church and Other Little-Known Laws by Barbara Seuling

Laws have a purpose.  It is not always a good purpose, but track them to their passage and you will usually see the reasoning behind them.  With the passage of time, that purpose is obscured, and many laws passed to deal with a pressing but temporary need seem arbitrary and pointless.

You Can't Eat Peanuts in Church and Other Little-Known Laws

It is often difficult to repeal such laws; perhaps they happen to favor a particular special interest group, or include provisions that specifically forbid a simple repeal, or they might be helpful if a criminal can’t be charged for their important crimes.   So it’s often the case that these statutes linger on the pages of lawbooks even decades after everyone began ignoring them.

This slim 1970s volume features a few hundred of these obscure laws from around the United States.  They are accompanied by humorous illustrations of people breaking the laws.  In the hardcover version, these illustrations were by Ms. Seuling; the paperback quietly replaced them with ones by Mel Klapholz.

Many of the laws do come off as funny, such as the city ordinance which forbids frightening hats.  Others are just outdated, such as the one requiring a person to walk in front of an automobile to warn of its approach.  Some laws can have their purpose divined if you know your history, such as one about “laundresses” which is clearly aimed at prostitution, and a San Francisco ordinance aimed at Chinese cultural customs.

This is the sort of lightly humorous book sold in tourist traps and hospital gift shops as gifts for people in need of quick entertainment you don’t need to think about too hard.   So there’s no citations or bibliography for further research.  And it’s been forty years, so some of these laws may finally be off the books.

There are probably new books with the same basic premise, so the main reason to look this one up is the illustrations.  Check garage sales and used book stores.

Book Review: Cowman’s Jack-Pot

Book Review: Cowman’s Jack-Pot by Frank C. Robertson (Also published as Greener Grows the Grass)

Chet Calder has spent eight years in the East.  Now the death of his father Dave Calder, and the crash of the stock market mean that there’s nothing left but the DC ranch.   On the stage into Calder City, Chet is seated by Mr. Doljack, the local banker.  Mr. Doljack reports that even the ranch itself is in dire financial straits, but it can be saved by ending the feud with the Murtaugh family and their Block M ranch by leasing some prime grazing land to them.

Cowman's Jackpot

Chet distrusts Mr. Doljack, who only owns the bank by virtue of having married the previous owner’s daughter.   But then who should just happen to be taking the Calder City stagecoach but Sylvia and Esta, the Murtaugh twins, who have filled out very nicely since Chet’s been away.  They are quite charming, and Chet begins to think it might not be so bad to end the feud after all.

Frank Chester Robertson (1890-1969) was a noted writer of Western novels (150 novels! plus many short stories and articles.)  This 1942 book is a good example of his craft.

Unlike many Westerns in which the protagonist is an upstanding fellow from the beginning, Chet Calder is initially a heel.  He has been away so long because he quarreled with his father over a gold-digging woman, only to have her throw him over when Dave wrote her a check.   Since then he’s been a “sportsman”, living off his father’s money while doing nothing to earn his own way or improve himself.  The Nineteenth Century equivalent of sitting around in your underwear all day playing video games, but with better chances of scoring women.

His financial circumstances having forced him to come back to the Idaho Territory irks Chet, and he treats his father’s old hands like servants, and his pride makes him snide to girl next door Marcia Whitman, who Mr. Doljack has informed him has become greedy.  None of the DC Ranch people are happy that Chet plans to make nice with the Murtaugh clan and hold a lavish party for the enemy ranchers.

Only after Chet has managed to alienate most of the people who should be his allies, while winning over none of his enemies, does he realize that he was set up from the start.  Now he has to start digging himself out of the hole he made.

Other than Chet, the lines of good and evil are pretty clearly drawn.  The Murtaughs have been poisoned by their upbringing and the long feud.  (And in an unpleasantly racist moment, the narration blames some of their evil on being of part-Cree heritage.)  One of them kills a cat just to drive home that he’s a bad’un.  Mr. Doljack is greedy and amoral (and lives in fear of his supposedly grotesquely ugly wife, who we never meet), and the other co-conspirators aren’t much better.

While the Murtaughs just want to make their Block M ranch prosperous and stick it to Chet, the other baddies are more interested in huge phosphate deposits Marcia’s father found on the DC land.  A decade before, those deposits had been unimportant, but with technological and infrastructure advancements, they’re worth millions.  Mr. Doljack is determined to get control of the mineral rights before Chet can find out their true value.

The primary weakness of the forces arrayed against Chet Calder is that their differing motivations and willingness to maneuver against each other to gain advantage or advance their own endgame results in some backstabbing that Chet can take advantage of.

Mr. Robertson has a tendency to repeat information he’s already established, and cheats a bit at the end to make sure that our heroes triumph without actually having to kill anyone.   But still, this is a nice old-fashioned Western tale for those who prefer their stories in black and white.  The last reprint appears to have been in the 1970s so good luck finding a copy.

Book Review: Spur #30 Boise Belle

Book Review: Spur #30 Boise Belle by Dirk Fletcher

Spur

I’m not sure what this type of book is called in the marketing department, so I’m going to borrow a phrase from the pulps and call it “spicy Western.”   This is a subgenre of the Western, usually in long-running paperback series, in which a tough Western hero fights outlaws and other baddies, pausing every few chapters for fairly explicit sex scenes.  It’s plot with porn, rather than porn with plot.

And what is that plot, you ask?  Spur McCoy is a Secret Service agent who has come to the Idaho Territory to investigate threats against the governor, who is running for re-election.  He’s not sure if a rash of vigilante killings is related to this or not.  Spur’s slightly distracted by the governor’s lusty and barely legal daughter, and a pretty widow (whose husband was killed by the vigilantes in a mistaken attack.)  There’s also polygamous Mormons in the mix.

The local law enforcement has been lax in dealing with the vigilantes as they save the cost of a trial, but as Spur notes, once you let one bunch of people take the law into their own hands, other people want to get into the act.  More killings indicate there’s a new vigilante in town, with a very different agenda.

This isn’t a mystery; the readers are let in on what’s going on well before Spur figures it out.  Still, it’s a bit more complex plot than many of this subgenre have.

Sadly, the paperbacks are overpriced new; check garage sales and suchlike if you think this is the sort of thing you’d be interested in.

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