Book Review: Sex with Kings

Book Review: Sex with Kings by Eleanor Herman

One of the advantages of being a king is that the rules don’t apply to you the same way as they do to commoners.  For centuries in Europe, this also extended to tolerance of extramarital affairs, to the point that many kings had maitresse-en-titre, the “official mistress.”  This book is about those mistresses, their lives and times.

Sex with Kings

Rather than a strictly chronological list, the book is divided into topics from the actual act of sex, through relationships between the mistress and queen or princess, to kings who actually married their mistresses.  (The book was published in 2004 and thus just missed out Prince Charles marrying Camilla.)  This means jumping back and forth between different countries and historical periods; quite a few of the mistresses get discussed multiple times.

One thing the book makes quite clear is that while the mistress job had a lot of perks, it was no  bed of roses.  Unlike the wife, who was usually hard to get rid of for religious and political reasons, mistresses could be replaced at the snap of a finger by the next favorite, and there were always plenty of women vying for the job.  This meant that the king had to be kept happy at any cost.  There’s a particularly painful story about a mistress who had to hold urine in for six hours on a carriage ride because until the king needs a potty break, no one needs a potty break.

Mistresses were also often the source of much emotional misery for queens, as the wife was often chosen for bloodlines or political alliances rather than having compatible personalities with the king, beauty or even good personal hygiene.  They’d often see the mistress get better personal rooms, finer dresses and jewelry, and the king favoring his out of wedlock children more than his lawful offspring.

Even the kings themselves were sometimes less than happy about the arrangement, having mistresses not because they wanted to fool around, but because all the other kings had them and the people would question their virility if they didn’t.

The book is Eurocentric, and primarily focuses on the British and French courts as those have the most accessible documents.  The way the topics are divided up, the story of any individual mistress is scattered about the different chapters, and you will need to use the index heavily if you are interested in just that one person.  There are also terse endnotes and a bibliography, a section of colored illustrations in the center (Not Safe For Work), and some end matter by the author, including her autobiography and a comparison of royal mistresses to modern pop stars.

The material covers salacious matters, and I would not recommend this book to readers below senior high school level.  (I imagine some parents might object even then.)

People I would recommend this to are those interested in the role of women in history, and those who enjoy reading about other people’s sex lives.

 

Book Review: Kings & Queens of Great Britain: A Very Peculiar History

Book Review: Kings & Queens of Great Britain: A Very Peculiar History by Antony Mason

For about 12 centuries, the English have been ruled by monarchs, and eventually this form of government spread to all of the British Empire.  That’s a lot of history, and many kings and queens to take account of.  This small volume with cartoony illustrations gives the reader an overview of those people and what they did.

Kings & Queens of Great Britain: A Very Peculiar History

There’s a brief discussion of monarchs before the official first king of the majority of England, Alfred the Great, starting in 871 C.E.  This includes the legendary King Arthur who may or may not have been based on an actual person.  After that is a chronological listing of English kings and queens, with a paragraph or page for each, with chapters cutting away to the Scottish monarchs.  (The Irish kings do not get the same courtesy.)  With King James I & VI, the lines are consolidated, and after that they’re all British kings and queens.

This is very much a highlights-only history book, with only the most famous bits of each reign mentioned for most of the monarchs.  There are, however, frequent sidebars on such subjects as palaces, revolutions, jewels, the Magna Carta and mistresses.  The serious scholar of British history is unlikely to learn anything new.  The book finishes up with a glossary, timeline, and index to make it easier to find the particular monarch you’re looking for.  It’s current as of January 2015.

Due to some salacious subject matter, I’d rate this as suitable for senior high students on up.  (There’s also a lot of violence; many of these people left the throne via murder.)  This would make a nice gift for your Anglophilic friend or relative, or Game of Thrones fans who have somehow never read the history that show is loosely based on.

 

 

Book Review: Hokas Pokas!

Book Review: Hokas Pokas! by Poul Anderson & Gordon R. Dickson

The Hoka of the planet Toka are the galaxy’s best live-action roleplayers.  Given a story they find interesting, the teddy-bear-looking aliens will take on the characters as their own personalities.  And they especially love Earth stories.  Thus it is that they have entire subcultures based around Sherlock Holmes, or the pop culture version of Napoleon or the Lord of the Rings novels.  Alexander Jones, Ambassador Plenipotentiary of the Interbeing League, has his hands full trying to keep the Hoka safe until they’re considered advanced enough to join galactic civilization.

Hokas Pokas

The Hoka stories are comedic science fiction; some of the funniest ever written.  This volume contains three of those stories.

“Full Pack (Hokas Wild)” gives Alexander Jones’ wife, Tanni, a rare day in the limelight.  While her husband is away, Tanni goes to investigate a downed starcraft, along with her young son Alex Jr.  It’s in the Hoka version of India, which is based more on Rudyard Kipling books than on the Mahabhrata.  The mission is complicated when her Hoka escort overnight switches from a British military regiment to a wolf pack from The Jungle Book.  Yet those who are familiar with the book rather than the Disney movie may catch on to the twist more quickly than Tanni does.

“The Napoleon Crime” explains where Alexander Jones was during the previous story, on Earth negotiating for an upgrade in the Hokas’ status.  But back on Toka, someone or something has been twisting the Hoka games, and the planet is on the brink of having actual wars.  With the aid of the heavyworld free trader Brob, Alex must return to Toka unannounced and go undercover as Horatio Hornblower to head off a deadly reenactment of the Napoleonic Wars.

Star Prince Charlie moves the setting to the world of New Lemuria, and the archipelago kingdom of Talyina.  This feudal society has been contacted by the Interbeing League, which hopes to eventually bring the Lemurians up to galactic standards with the minimum of outside interference.  Talyina is visited by young Charles Edward Stuart and his Hoka tutor, taking a vacation from the cargo ship of Charlie’s father.

There’s trouble in Talyina, though.  The current king is a usurper and tyrant, and the people grumble.  One drunken night for the tutor and a local warrior later, a prophecy about a destined prince and the tradition of the Young Pretender cast Mr. Stuart in the role of Bonnie Prince Charlie, and the Hoka is now his Highland Scots retainer, Hector MacGregor.  A local lord is pushing Charlie to fulfill the prophecy, and due to the League rules, the boy can’t just have technologically advanced guards come get him.

The prophecy begins to come true, with a little “help”, and the people rally behind their alien prince.  But as events sweep Charlie along, he comes to realize that overthrowing one tyrant may only lead to a worse one taking the throne.  For the sake of Talyina, he must become the hero they deserve, if not the one they think he is.

This is actually a short novel, written for the young adult market.  It’s very much a boys’ adventure in the spirit of Robert Louis Stevenson, with rather more humor.  (All the chapter titles are literary references, for example.)  Charlie moves in a world of men; women are mentioned from time to time, but none are important to the plot, and I cannot remember Charlie ever having a conversation with one.  He does, however, learn not to look down on people just because they’re less educated or technologically advanced.  The bittersweet ending demonstrates how much he’s grown as Charlie chooses to do the right thing rather than the easy thing.

There’s some college papers waiting to be written about colonialism and cultural appropriation in the Hoka stories–much of the humor derives from the latter being turned on its head, and the League tries to avoid the worst effects of the former, but those things are worth considering.

While the first two parts are not specifically written for young adults, they should be okay for junior high students on up.  Some references are likely to go over the heads of younger readers, which makes this a good choice for re-reading later.   Highly recommended to fans of science fiction humor.

 

Comic Book Review: Showcase Presents: Weird War Tales Volume 1

Comic Book Review: Showcase Presents: Weird War Tales Volume 1 edited by Joe Kubert & Joe Orlando

As I’ve mentioned in other reviews, the relaxation of the Comics Code in the early 1970s created a horror anthology boom at DC Comics.  At the same time, the once best-selling war comics were going into a slump, at least partially due to the real-life Vietnam War becoming increasingly unpopular.  So a hybrid title was created that combined the two genres.

Showcase Presents: Weird War Tales

Like many anthology comics, there was initially a framing device of a narrator telling the stories to a soldier and the reader.  This switched around a few times, until the series settled on Death as the host of the book.  For who knows the stories of war better?  The majority of the stories are set in World War Two, both because the writers and artists had served in that conflict or were close to those that were, and because the sides were so clearly drawn.  None of the stories in the first twenty-one issues are set in the Vietnam conflict; the most recent war covered is the Korean War in one story, and even then not presented by name.

The art in this volume is stellar.  Joe Kubert (who also got to be an editor on this title), Russ Heath, Irv Novick and others are well-served by the black and white reprint.  The stories range from good to trite.  The two most often used plots are “Corporal Bob saved your life?  But he died last week!” and “Arrogant Nazis disregard local superstitions, die horribly.”  A couple of standouts are Issue #11’s “October 30”, which is a series of interconnected stories taking place on that date in different years as Von Krauss seeks glory and promotion in more than one war; and “The Warrior and the Witch Doctors!” which has a Roman legionary time traveling, but a unique twist ending changes everything.

The Comics Code, while loosened, was still in effect, so while rape and suicide are implied, they are never directly shown.  The gore is also turned way down, unlike many current horror comics.  (On the other hand, there’s enough violence to make the “Make War No More” buttons that sometimes end the stories seem out of place.)  There are some period ethnic slurs in a couple of the stories.  Only one female soldier is seen, and very briefly at that in a post-atomic war story.

The subject matter means that this volume won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but the art makes it well worth it for fans of war comics who can take a little weirdness in with it.

Manga Review: Afterschool Charisma

Manga Review: Afterschool Charisma by Kumiko Suekane

Shiro Kamiya is an ordinary high school student until the day his father takes a job as headmaster of St. Kleio Academy, and enrolls Shiro in that exclusive school.  A very exclusive school indeed, as all the other students are clones of famous historical figures.  As the only one without a storied predecessor to be emulated or rebelled against, Shiro is an outsider–only a few of the students warm up to him at first.

Afterschool Charisma

It soon becomes evident that there is a darker side to the school when Marie Curie decides she’d rather be a musician than a scientist, she’s “transferred” but she never communicates with those left behind.   There’s a mysterious cult that seems to worship sheep, and the staff are evasive on certain questions.

Meanwhile, the most successful graduate of the school, Clone Kennedy, has been elected president of the United States.   He’s assassinated at his inauguration by a group that declares the intention to kill all clones.   Soon, events spiral out of control as secrets are revealed.

By Volume 8, Shiro has learned that he is not the person he thought he was, but remains confused as to just who he is now.  He and Marie Curie (yes, she’s alive) flee after a media presentation at the school goes horribly wrong, meet “Jesus Christ” who is most assuredly not a clone, and discuss the  different meanings of “freedom.”

They’re soon recaptured, but another layer of the onion is peeled away.  Meanwhile at St. Kleio, one reporter is allowed to remain and interview some of the students, learning more about their feelings toward their situation.  And the emotionally fragile Clone Hitler, now with the “resistance”, attacks his former school in the headlines.

There’s some nice art here, although the prettification of all the historical figures makes them a bit blander than necessary.    There is fanservice, mostly in the omakes, but every so often in the main story there will be unnecessary underwear shots or focus on cleavage.  While the guys are also supposed to be eye candy, there is not nearly an equal amount of objectification for them.

In the early volumes, the students of St. Kleio (named after Clio, muse of history) show a decided lack of curiosity about subjects that directly affect them or are relevant to their survival.  One might think that the school has conditioned them into blind acceptance, except that Shiro doesn’t think of these questions either.

And even though multiple revelations have been made about the secret backers of St. Kleio and the fate of many of the clones, it’s still not clear what the actual purpose of the entire exercise is.   It’s certainly not to turn out people just like their originals.  (As pointed out in the seminal 1973 novel Joshua, Son of None and portrayed by a much better writer in The Boys from Brazil, in order to have the same personality as the original, a clone would have to have the same life experiences.  Would Florence Nightingale have the same personality if she were specifically brought up to be a nurse, as opposed to being raised by a family that was strongly against that profession?  You bet she wouldn’t.)

I’m not sure the author will be able to come up with a satisfying answer in the end, but the ride has been a lot of fun so far.

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